Are we there yet?

I have rotten luck when it comes to vehicles. And driving them. To anywhere.

Case in point:

I spent the weekend in America's Dairyland hanging out with one of my best friends and celebrating her baby's first birthday. I have been put to work each of her kid's birthdays because I can be helpful and she doesn't mind letting me. The first year it was keeping her company while she decorated the cake at midnight. This year, I was promoted to making the macaroni and cheese. Oh yeah, I'm big time now.

And did I mention it happened to fall when Hubby was gone on a business trip? He's missed the last 3 birthdays. I'm pretty sure there are some of my friend's family members who think he's imaginary. The running gag ain't so funny anymore.

ANYHOO...

The first time I tried to drive to their house solo I drove through construction in Chicago (I know, shocking, right?), I got a nail in my tire at 4 p.m. when all the shops are closing and had to drive 50 mph on the donut the rest of the way with 2 kids screaming in the back. 

It's a miracle I even talk to her anymore after that one.

The second birthday I did OK. Kids, vehicle and I all made it there and back in one piece. 

Friday I had no trouble getting through Chicago, there were no frantic emergency potty stops and we were happy to spend a long weekend at our destination.

Sunday afternoon when it was time to get going, I used the remote starter on the van to let it warm up while my friend's hubby helped me load my car with stuff and kids (only mine. I checked). We were about 5 minutes on the road when I got a text from Hubby, telling me his flight home was taking off. Then I noticed the only part of me getting warmer was in direct contact with the seat warmer. 

Uhh... 

I was almost to the highway and Nathaniel was complaining he was cold. I knew the next exit was about 20 miles down the road, so I pulled into a parking lot and broke out the cell phone. I called my friend. No answer. Called her hubby. He's not a car guy, really, so wasn't any help. I called my father-in-law, who was about 6 hours away but can diagnose any car issue in his sleep. After talking me in circles for a few minutes, I figured out me and my cold kids had to head back to my friend's. 

Luckily my friend parked my kids in front of 'toons, gave me a mug of steaming hot coffee and warm socks and called her dad to come help her hubby figure out what was going on.

Long story short, the heat came back and now I need to take the van in to figure out where I have a leak in something. That let an air bubble in. That stopped some fluid from going where it needed to be. 

Yeah, I know a thing or two about cars.... NOT

So needless to say we got home a lot later than I figured. Kids sacked out in the car and let me be vegetable mommy today. Five cups of coffee did nothing for me. Thank goodness for Handy Manny. I will attack laundry, grocery, and figuring out where to take the car tomorrow. 

And put a AAA membership on my Valentine's Day list. 

How did this happen?

As I mentioned yesterday, I am now president of the community band that Hubby and I both play in. So, like, I'm, like, in charge and stuff. Whuck?!

Yeah I know. Scary. But I guess if I can keep everyone in our zoo fed and clothed, I can do anything, right?! Except remember where I put my cell phone. Or my keys.

We've been involved in the group since we moved to the area. At the time, it was unusual for anyone pretty much straight out of college to be playing. Many of the members put down their instruments after high school or college and then picked them back up again a decade or more later. Let's just say we brought the average age down a bit.

I had been going to rehearsals for about a month when someone approached me about serving on the board. Hubby was still working on getting his own horn, so hadn't even BEEN to a rehearsal yet, and they asked if he could serve too. Uh, sure?

And so we did for a few years, then took a break and now, here we are, almost 7 years later, and I'm running the show. Hubby is excited to have another year off and watch me deal with the headaches. He wants to be called First Dude. I'm pretty sure Todd Palin called dibs on that first, but since Sarah Palin isn't technically in office anymore, I think it's safe to borrow. At least for awhile.

I spent most of the week leading up to my first meeting fretting about it. I was kinda dreading it. I'm not really sure why. Maybe I was afraid I'd pull a Mary Katherine Gallagher or something. But I don't tend to sweat profusely or wear Catholic school girl uniforms (at least not anymore - circa 1995, sure).

But I was surrounded by people who (with the exception of one) are all older than me. I couldn't help wondering why they decided to let the kid run things.

Oh wait. No one ran against me. That might be it. Snap.

Guess they'll have until September to find someone with (more) gray hair to oust me.

Falling off the blog

Dear Bloggy-sphere,

It's not you. It's me. 

Signed, 

Holding on for dear life Momma.

Life is happening all around me. I can't blink without missing something. 

I write. It's what I do. At least, it is most of the time. It used to be all the time. Now it's when I have a 5-minute window and a light bulb moment simultaneously. Or an assignment and a deadline looming that if I'm lucky might pay half of ONE monthly bill. Provided I have silent children or childcare.

In the last week, we had a monster snowstorm, Hubby and I celebrated our 7th anniversary, I ran my first meeting as president of our community band, Nathaniel took a digger that needed a butterfly bandage that Hubby couldn't find WHILE I was at said meeting, more snow, I had to fight with our mail-order pharmacy to actually send the prescription I ordered, my gorgeous anniversary present (a bracelet) was too big and can't be shortened, and...

Yeah I'll just stop there. You get the idea. Snow, bloodshed, to-do lists, more snow. Inevitably more bloodshed. Okay, hopefully not. But I have two monkeys who love to climb things they shouldn't and run in socks on hardwood floors. It happens.

And maybe next time I'll have 5 minutes to write about it.

Parenting Fail - The News Edition

My kids are pretty observant. As soon as Nathaniel could say "choo-choo" he knew exactly where every set of tracks was near our house. He now knows all of the important stores in our life: Walmart, Target, Starbucks... ya know, the staples. He is a walking, talking game of 20 questions.

Both munchkins love cartoons, but we also watch a lot of Food Network, DIY, HGTV, Discovery and Science Channel. They are equally as likely to be zoned out on a weekend morning to Mickey Mouse as to How It's Made. What can I say, I married an engineer?

In my former life, current events and the goings-on of the world was pretty darn important. I still like to know what's happened in the real world, so our TV auto-tunes to the local news everyday at 5, and if I have my way, it stays on the same channel until the national news is over.

But obviously I need to start shuffling to CNN during the day, because my children - despite all my efforts - are lost.

Nathaniel was going to curl up on the couch with Hubby while I cleaned up from dinner. Hubby had switched to BBC America to watch "Top Gear" and a commercial showed a clip from an upcoming news program.

"Look Daddy, it's Dr. Phil," my beloved cherub said.

It was President Obama.

DOH! Mental head slap.

I don't know, you tell me... was he close?

Sigh.

Five Things

I really didn't have a coherent thought today.

Scratch that. I didn't have any USEFUL coherent thoughts today. "I really hate laundry" and "Damn I'm cold" don't count.

So here is a random list of things that have crossed my mind in the post-birthday-Christmas-New Years-birthday haze.

1) My cat thinks the half bath and connecting laundry room are HIS. Visitors are warned accordingly should they CLOSE the door to do their business.

He feels it necessary to hop onto the dryer, check his empty food bowl (because he's a pig and inhales it first thing in the morning), then mosey on over to my tiny counter to try to sit, walk, or otherwise fur-ify my clean laundry.

Next time he tries that, he folds.

2) I don't mind so much when my kids don't eat their Fruit Loops in the morning because of the way the garbage disposal smells afterward.

3) I never thought I would ever wear yoga pants for anything resembling actual yoga. Scary.

4) I wore two pairs of socks today. At the same time. Brr.

5) I still haven't finished the laundry. Only 3 more days before I have to start all over again.

Unless Tigger decides to start pulling his own weight.

A Wii bit of exercise

Other than dragging my children to the doctor and getting the snot scared out of me, I accomplished virtually nothing yesterday. That's what happens when those doctors with their stethoscopes and white socks with dress pants start throwing big words like "big" and "thyroid" at me.

The nerve.

And if I wasn't on edge enough, my boy child was limping around the house like his 94-year-old great-grandmother wailing that his shots hurt.

I consumed A LOT of coffee yesterday.

But once my children were asleep in a rare dual afternoon nap, I had the choice of attacking the laundry monster threatening to permanently bar entrance to the laundry room, gathering MORE of said laundry scattered around the house, cleaning mountains of lost Christmas toys or heading to the basement for a little me time.

I won. Big time. I know, shocked, aren't you?

Now that Hubby has finished his master's, we finally got a Wii as our family Christmas gift. Santa Hubby brought me a Wii Fit because I need SOMETHING to kick my butt and motivate me to do more than collect dust on our couch in the winter.


The little cartoon balance board keeps telling me my Wii Fit age is 40 because I don't have any balance or coordination and never have (Sorry Aunt Carol, those five years of dance lessons were NOT gonna save my clumsy butt).


I did feel a little better and not quite as cold after a little yoga and stretching. And as soon as I finished my 30 minutes, I heard Leah hollering for Momma.

And that was it. Back to worrying and watching a hobbling preschooler. At least I got that.

My baby girl

This is my baby girl in her natural state - motion.

OK, so she just turned 2, has as big a vocabulary as her 4-year-old brother and is potty training. Not technically a baby, but still MY baby. I have said from the beginning she would give me gray hair from worrying about what she was climbing, getting into or otherwise figuring out way too fast.

After today, I'm going out to get the hair dye.

Both kids had their well-child visits today. Nathaniel and his two booster shot trauma is a story for another day. 

Once the doc was done checking over a surprisingly compliant boy child, Leah popped right up to have him check her. He looked in her mouth, ears and did that odd neck/throat check thingy. And then he did it again.

Insert eyebrow raise.

He went through his spiel, and almost as an afterthought he added, "Her thyroid is big."

Uh, excuse me? There's something wrong with my perfect little pigtailed girl? Well maybe. But he's not ready to be concerned yet.

So now we wait. In three months, we go back to check her height and weight. Blood tests may come later. But the worry will start now. 

The float nurse at her 18-month check up either didn't get an accurate measurement or she got shorter in the last 6 months. (My money is on the first one.) She is still on the growth chart, and is actually a little taller than her brother was at the same age. I checked her records and she's gained 4 pounds since her 15-month check up. I have no idea if that's good, bad or indifferent. 

Hence the worry. 

I started Googling as soon as we got home and didn't pry myself away from this blasted computer after lunch. Now that I vaguely know what a thyroid is supposed to do, no more good can come from medical web searching. I had a few good friends remind me of that fact today too. Thanks ladies. 

So I sit and wait. And randomly break into tears when my precious girl does something crazy smart, like ask Daddy at dinner if his 'chines are broken at work, or so very Leah, like trying to order a movie on satellite when the remote was left unattended. 

I'm not much for praying, but I might try that too.