Overheard at my house: Ignorance is E. coli

This was an actual honest-to-goodness conversation held in my kitchen last night as Hubby and I unloaded the dishwasher. We were debating the merits of our small white plastic cutting board.

Me: This cutting board is gross. Can I just pitch it?

Hubby: No. It's sterile.

Me: Do you want to eat something that was cut on that?

Hubby: Yes. Do you think the black one is better just because you can't see it?

Me: Ignorance is bliss.

Hubby: No it's not. Ignorance is still E. coli.

Overheard at my house: Potty tales

My darling girl went next door to watch her brother and the neighbor boy play basketball. A few minutes later - when I was on the phone, mind you - she returned.

"Mommy, can I go potty at Bev's house?"

"Honey, do you have to go potty?"

"Yes."

"Okay, you're here. Just use our potty."

"But I want to use their potty."

"Well why didn't you ask Bev to use her potty?"

"But I can't open the door."

"Well next time ask one of the boys to open it. But for now, use our potty."

We went back and forth like that for a minute before I gave her a Look and the wailing began. "But I don't want to!!!"

I was on the phone with my Thirty-One director and she absolutely lost it. I think my children and I both amuse and frighten her.

I feel the same way.

Overheard at my house

All the warm weather means the few flowers I didn't manage to kill last year are starting to come back. In most cases, they're buried under the dead growth from last year (it's on the to-do list, I swear), but my bulbs are coming up for the second year in a row! Score!

Leah noticed the daffodils (and something else... I forget...) were starting to show above the mulch.

"Mommy! Your flowers are growing! They need water and sunshine and wuve"

"Water, sunshine and love?"

"Yup. That what Quincy says on Einsteins."

If she follows that advice, she may have more of a green thumb than her Momma. My plants have hope.

Overheard at my house: Untle Mino

My darling girl is destined for speech therapy. For all my fretting and worrying over my barely-verbal son who could now talk anyone into the ground, she is the stubborn one who I think needs help.

She's willing to work with me for about three tries and then she shuts down. We're getting closer on "l." Next up is "r" but the sounds that you make in the back of her throat - c, g, k - are no go.

She's pretty good at pronouncing words that don't contain any of those. Put a lot of them together and it gets interesting.

"Daddy when awe you donna be done with your Untle Mino?"

Hubby, through snorts of laughter: "My El Camino? Not for a while, Baby Girl."

Overheard at my house: Sharing with friends

An oldie but goodie for you to enjoy while I'm sipping hot tea under a blanket, watching snow and reading a book or 12. 

"Daddy, is John coming over to help you move my closet?"

"No, Kirt is."

"What?!"

"Yup. How do you like them apples?"

"What?! We're giving them some of our apples?"

No, but I still have plenty of jars of applesauce to share.

Overheard at my house

My darling children planned their next activity while sitting in the living room with me, petting the dog.

"C'mon Leah, let's go play in your room."

"No, I don't want to. Let's play in your room and close the door."

"Why? So you can climb on my top bed while Mommy's not looking?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Excuse me. I just heard a thud.

Overheard at my house: Tacos and math don't mix

"Does anyone want lettuce on their taco?"

Blink. Blink.

I was addressing five kids, all of whom know how to talk. I got bubkis.

"There's gonna be seven boys at my house Friday! 'Cause I'm having a friend over and my brother's having a friend over and then there's our dad and our dog..."

Right. That's not quite seven, but...

"So nobody wants lettuce on their tacos?"

Same kid: "Oh I do."

Right.