Don't get too excited, I didn't go anywhere fun. Nobody was serving me fruity drinks with umbrellas in them while I sunned myself. In fact, that would be the exact opposite of the last six crazy weeks.
Even the most sarcastic and snarky person hits a funk sometime. It may or may not have had something to do with a certain birthday last month. I turned thhh... thhh...iiirr.... oh just ask my 4-year-old. He can't count to my age, but gosh darnit, he knows how old I am. Thanks go to my bestie's husband on that one. Good thing he's always gonna be a year older.
I'm not unhappy with my life, but that looming milestone had me thinking, "Okay, now what?"
We've been in the same house for a long time now. I am still convinced this lovely abode was designed by monkeys, but I have the kind of neighbors who will gladly loan a ride if I need it, ingredients for baking, ketchup when I forget to stock up for a cookout, tables for garage sales, kids to entertain my own and teenage daughters to babysit. And they're pretty awesome to hang out with too. The house would have to be falling down around us for me to move right now. And even that would give us a chance to improve what we don't like and still stay put.
With a few department shifts, Hubby has had the same job for even longer. But the economy sucks, so it's not like a) he's looking or b) he could find anything better. And c) see house argument.
So I've been feeling kinda stuck. I'm not sure what to satisfy that nagging feeling, and I turned away from what kept me sane for the last year - blogging. I shouldn't have.
My early birthday incident at the state fair - in addition to giving me literal nightmares for weeks - served a different purpose. Before that, my blog averaged 40 hits per day. When I shared my story about the Sugarland concert, I got 205 hits. Everyone I know who reads the paper (or doesn't) told me they read the blog/newspaper article and was moved. I forgot in all my school board meetings and fluffy business features that I do, in fact, have a gift with words. I can't waste it.
I may never go back to my old job, but that doesn't mean I have to put down my pen and walk away forever. I don't know how it will factor into my "next step," but that doesn't mean that it won't. I have to just learn to be patient and wait for the right opportunity to find me.
In the meantime, I'll be right here.