Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Lost treasures

While some may have thought I lost my sanity BEFORE our road trip to Colorado, I'm pretty sure it's gone now, along with a few other things:

One blue flashlight.  The red one made it home. Thank goodness my treasure hunters have not noticed we are down one. The next time they want to go for a rescue in the basement I'm gonna be in trouble.

Travel "Operation" game courtesy of a Burger King kid's meal. Again, ONE made it home. I'd say it's good we have two, except with two kids, two is almost a necessity. Unless I want to lose my hearing listening to them "share."

My cell phone charger. What makes it odd is that I remember throwing it in the suitcase to go out there, but never actually CHARGED my phone. I don't think. So unless our friends' cats have a texting habit they don't know about...

Travel aqua doodle pen, somewhere around Illinois on the return trip. At least that's when it got dark and was the last time I remember seeing it. Hubby was in charge of putting toys away, so I'm thinking the van ate it, ala the Sippy Cup Incident and Sippy Cup Part Dueax.

Daughter's desire to potty train/ability to pee IN the potty. We were all ready to break out the big girls and really start hard core training, but why go through all that knowing we were leaving for a week? Exactly. And I never knew little girls could a) pee standing up like a boy or b) shoot it halfway across the bathroom. I do now.

My tolerance of winter, if I had any to begin with. When in Colorado, we did as Coloradoans do and skied. It was awesome. It was really freaking windy at the top of the runs, but when you're a million (or 12,000) feet above sea level, it's understandable. And it was for one afternoon. The next day it was almost 60 degrees and we were shedding coats like it was going out of style. Coming home to a dreary muddy yard was not great, but now that it has been covered with about 6 inches of that fluffy white stuff, I'm about done. Mother Nature did NOT need to make up for all the snow that melted with one storm.

My marbles. Oh wait, those have been gone for awhile...

Monday, February 21, 2011

A short story

Once upon a time there was a woman. She went on vacation to a lovely, lovely place. When it was time to come home she was sad. Then when she got home, her allergies attacked her viciously for having ever left in the first place and her head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. And then it rained. And sleeted. And snowed. And she was sad.

The End.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

By the numbers

It's been 10 days since I posted. But I have good reason. There have been a few more numbers in my life lately.


That's how many hours Hubby, kiddos and I spent in the van driving to and from Colorado. Yes, we all survived.


That would be the mileage for said 36 hours, not counting driving up and down the front range and around Denver.


How many mini snack bags we went through, plus half a bag of teddy bear crackers and several cupfuls of fishy crackers.


Bags of trail mix for the adults. I may or may not have polished 2 of them off on my own. Allegedly.


juice boxes for the kiddos, both ways.


fast food lunches and dinners, again, both ways.


alleged rodent spotting at a certain royal fast food eatery in Iowa. Never. Again.


Feet Denver is above sea level.


Feet at the highest point we skied down at Loveland Ski Area. I Heart Colorado skiing. All limbs remained intact. Little man went through ski school and within about 5 minutes, asked if we could go skiing again. Oh yeah. When Leah weighs more than the ski boots, she'll be next in line.


Amazing friends that we visited. The kind that you pick up exactly where you left off, no matter how long it's been, and you are immensely sad when the goodbyes have to be said.


Night out because said friend's parents VOLUNTEERED to come over and watch the kiddos so we four could go out and have a meal like adults. Yes, they are a thousand different kinds of awesome. They brought toys and treats and let them play video games. Win-win for everyone.


Number of times I wheezed, sniffed, coughed, itched or otherwise cursed my allergies or sinuses. In a condo with 3 cats. Whuck?!

1 million bazillion.

Number of times I have wished we lived in Colorado since we got there a week ago. At least.

So if anyone wants to find Hubby a job there, I'm all over that like snow on a mountain.

Like this one. 

Or maybe this one.


Monday, February 7, 2011

Nothing a taquito can't cure

Today was A. Day. My darlings were relatively well behaved for a Monday, but it was still one thing after the other that had me looking at the clock wishing for bedtime. Mine, not theirs.

We're getting ready for a road trip to Crazy Town. And by that I mean 18 hours in a van with two small children. Cause we're too cheap to fly. Apparently my sanity is worth less than round trip airfare to Colorado during ski season. Good to know.

I've been (bravely) telling a few souls about this endeavor and most I'm just getting raised eyebrows and "you're crazy." Thanks folks, for stating the obvious. I know that. Tell me something I don't know, like how to keep Hubby from going crazy from when a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old hit their car seat time limit.

I predict lots of fishy crackers will be needed.

So while I'm giving myself an ulcer over that and a few thousand other things that have gone wrong over the last few weeks, crap is hitting the fan left and right. I have reached my quota for stupidity for the month and it's only 7 days in. Not sure I can lock myself in a closet for that long and still do preschool drop off and pick up.

So instead of making a to do list so I can tackle it, I am killing time online, watching TV and eating leftover Super Bowl junk food.

Maybe we should take taquitos on our trip.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Parenting Fail - Four-legged edition

When asked what she wanted for Mother's Day last year, my friend told her hubby, "nothing I have to keep alive."

I hear ya sister.

I am a bad pet parent. It's a good thing that my kids love to give the animals treats, hugs and belly rubs, because they've got to pick up my slack.

A LOT of slack.

Don't get me wrong, my animals are fed and cared for, so don't be sicking PETA or anybody on me. But OCCASIONALLY, the following things may or may not have happened in my house.

1. The dog asks to go out, goes straight to the outside water bowl and comes right back in. Sometimes the inside water is empty, but I swear she likes the taste of  the outside water better.

2. Cat gets locked in the basement. For an afternoon. Or overnight. Never both. Usually.

Did somebody leave me out here?
(Not actually my dog. I'm sure this dog's
owners NEVER forget about her)
3. Dog gets left outside. (Not this time of year, folks. Only when it's nice out.) She's kinda used to it. She nestles down into the grass and waits for someone to remember her. And yes, both children know to let the dog in and out.

4. I know it's time to trim the cat's claws when he starts sticking to the carpet. 

5. Two words for you: LITTER. BOX. Ugh. I may be bad, but Hubby is worse. If the cat was an indoor/outdoor cat, I'm pretty sure he would have run away after my last pregnancy.

This kinda looks like my cat. Only less irritated.
6. A child can be found trying to "nap" in the dog's bed while said dog is sitting in the living room looking pitiful. 

7. There are no pictures of my animals to even post on here. You ever seen Pioneer Woman's blog? I am pretty sure she takes more pictures of ONE animal in ONE day than I have taken of BOTH of my pets in the last year. And she has scads of dogs, cows, horses and a cat. So I guess she has a lot of subject material to choose from, but still...

Pretty soon the animals are going to take their revenge... although since the dog's new favorite place to sleep is on Hubby's pillow and the cat's is his clean laundry. I have all the responsibility and he gets all the blame.

Sounds good to me.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011





Snowtorious B.I.G.

Lots of names for the 10-ish inches of snow that fell on my house over the last 24 hours. And while my winter weather vocabulary is a bit bigger now, I have learned only one important thing:

Snow sucks and blizzards blow.

(Ha! Get it? Sorry. I'm done now.)

Kids and I hid inside today while Hubby ignored a state of emergency to trek into work. I didn't think staying home with us was THAT bad...

Anyway. We'll be home again tomorrow. It won't be fun to explain why little guy misses show and tell day at preschool, but maybe if I let him overdose on Mario Kart it'll be OK. That's what snow days are for, right?

I have great memories of snow days growing up. That meant waking up on time for school to listen to my hometown's lone radio station, hoping against all hope to hear "John F. Kennedy, closed." I'd run back upstairs to bed for an hour or so.

When I finally dragged myself out of bed, I would settle in at the dining room table to help Nana with a puzzle and watch CNN. I always wanted my mom to stay home from work too, but that rarely happened. Darn work. But I didn't let it ruin my fun.

Blizzard of '93 in good ole PA
My favorite snow memory was the Blizzard of '93. It was March and my friends and I were having a sleepover at my friend Deborah's house for her birthday. We knew snow was coming, so as soon as it started we were in their front yard in our pajamas, laughing and throwing snowballs.

As soon as it was light enough, we were going to round up as many snow clothes as we could find (Deb has 4 siblings - it wasn't hard to do) and go sledding. I grew up in western PA so you don't have to look far to find a good hill (I lived at the bottom of three), but her backyard was ideal.

But my morning was brought to a screeching halt when my mom showed up early to pick me up. She had seen the forecast and was afraid if she waited any longer, she wouldn't be able to get across town to get me. The other parents came trooping in not far behind, so only Deb and her sisters got to enjoy the hill that day.

If Wikipedia is to be trusted, it says Pittsburgh got about 28 inches that weekend. I remember 3 ft and being off school for a week.

Nana and I got lots of puzzles done.