Find a friend

Ever have those days where you stop and try to look at yourself from the outside? I have some amazing people in my life, and part of the reason why they are so amazing is because they put up with me.

I am hard work. I overanalyze. I obsess over things I can't control. And I'll want to talk about it for days at a time. I forget conversations 5 minutes after they take place. I can get caught up in the everyday and forget to call or email for days weeks months. When I do make contact, what else do I have to talk about besides my kids? Lord knows I don't do anything exciting anymore.

An acquaintance told me that the friends I make now when my kids are small are the ones that I will keep for a lifetime. I think she may be onto something. It's not that my friends that don't have little ones aren't sympathetic. They are. Who else can I rely on for the "oh crap" babysitting or crisis moments? But like childbirth, you forget a lot of the stressful, not-so-great parts about having little kids. It's better that way.

But seriously. Friends With Kids are doing the same things I am. Like laundry, cooking, cleaning, fixing toys, refereeing fights, reading stories, wiping noses (and other parts), preschool runs, snack assembly, and pulling their hair out, all simultaneously. They know I'm crazy. They also know some of the crazy came from my darling children, and it really shouldn't be held against me. 'Cause my kids are pretty cute. It's gonna get them far in life. 

But being my friend does have some benefits. I can bake a mean banana bread. If you need something written, I'm your gal. If you need me to worry or fuss about anything going on in your life, I'm all over that. Even if you don't need me, chances are I'll do it anyway. I am a pretty good listener (when not interrupted every 30 seconds by a small child), and occasionally I remember enough adult words to offer advice. I am loyal to a fault, but cross me once and I'll never forget it. Yes, I hold grudges.

I found a quote once: "Be the friend you'd like to find." I'd like to think I'm a pretty good find. But for a lot of my life, I worried about who didn't appreciate what they had with me. Not anymore. Being a good friend is hard work, but at some point, you cross a line where the effort and result don't match. So I am trying, most days, to focus on what I can do for my friends - the ones who freely offer and accept help. Because I know I am not perfect, so I will need a hand every now and then.

Friends are those who know your faults and love you anyway.

Love you guys.